Literati

Star of upcoming Da Vinci Code sequel Angels & Demons Stellan Skarsgard left the producers scrambling for diplomatic responses after revealing that he thinks Dan Brown, the author of the DVC series, is a “bad writer.”

The Scandinavian made the comment during a recent appearance on a Swedish news show, and admitted that he only consented to appear in A&D once he’d read the script — not based on the book.

Said the Ronin actor, “I think Dan Brown is a terribly bad writer, but he has cliffhangers after every chapter which makes you continue reading.

“It’s like eating peanuts at a bar. You don’t like them, but you keep on eating them anyway.”

Skarsgard plays a Vatican guard in the blockbuster and claims he would never have signed up for the film had it not been for director Ron Howard’s reworked script: “The story is more simple and straightforward but just as dramatic.”

We could probably explain away this tactlessness by saying that, as the father of seven kids (including a newborn), Skarsgard has no time to suffer fools.  The fact is, though, we agree — Brown is a crappy writer, but he knows how to push a plot along.

Skarsgard, however, is probably a pretty good writer, if we base our judgment on that peanuts analogy, which is not half bad.

Categories: Feuds / Film / Literati
Tags: bad reviews / Dan Brown / please welcome the ambassador / Ron Howard / Stellan Skarsgard
Author: Sarah Bunting

Sure, in our jaded, adult minds Jennifer Garner looks ridiculous in this photo, but to kindergarteners she’s the best substitute teacher ever!

The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past star, joined by celebri-mom Pat, read to a classroom of children to launch the 2009 State of World’s Mothers report, which we hope will provide a judicial tribunal to try our moms for all those guilt trips and subtle hints about grandchildren.

Peep the lingering bruise on her right knee from a “biff” while jogging last week.

Categories: Film / Literati / Non-Profiteers
Tags: Don't con me Biff! / Jennifer Garner / Pat Garner / State of the World's Mothers Report
Author: Ben DiMatteo

Perpetual Victorian caricature Helen Bonham Carter was looking like an exploited child circus performer yesterday at the The English Folk Dance And Song Society’s Folklore Fete in London. You almost don’t want to throw that rotten cabbage head, but she better start dancing or showing some tattoos soon …

The corpse mom was on hand with her partner in creepiness Tim Burton to raise money for a new British folklore museum, and perhaps to take time off post-prod work on the star-studded, 3-D-tastic and fiercely behind schedule Alice in Wonderland.

Categories: Fashion / Film / Literati / Non-Profiteers
Tags: Alice in Wonderland / carnie trailer backdrops / Helen Bonham Carter / Tim Burton
Author: Ben DiMatteo

We don’t know exactly what gave Casino’s Sharon Stone a giggle as she signed autographs outside CNN’s studios in Hollywood before a Larry King taping on Tuesday.   We do know she’s an aspiring author who’s shopping a collection of her short stories for publication, and based on how many celebs seem to think writing is is as easy as typing, maybe Stone really is laughing in anticipation of a fat book deal.

Or maybe she’s just bonkers.  Could go either way, really.

Categories: Film / Literati
Tags: dens of pretension / Larry King / Sharon Stone
Author: Sarah Bunting

We didn’t know Archbishop Rt. Hon. Dr. John Sentamu had such a rich repertoire of hilarious jokes; in fact, we have to admit that we didn’t know who he was at all.  But he’s cracking Prince Charles’s shit up in half the pictures in this set from the Royal Academy of Arts’s Byzantine reception on Wednesday, so now we want to hang out with him too.  Maybe we should start going to church more.  And by “more,” we mean “ever.”

Or maybe the prince is laughing smugly, knowing that his recording of Robert Burns’s poetry has become a big hit for the BBC.

Categories: Literati / Royals
Tags: John Sentamu / meet Giggles McGee / Prince Charles / Robert Burns
Author: Sarah Bunting