At Monday night’s Smart  Cookie Awards — honors given by Cookie magazine which, per Entertainment Tonight, “recognize and support mothers in the business, philanthropy, and celebrity worlds who are making outstanding contributions to women’s and children’s causes around the globe” — Gattaca’s Uma Thurman reacted to rumors of an impending wedding to businessman Arpad Busson by 1) wearing wallpaper as a frock coat and 2) looking kind of drunk in this photo.  Will & Grace’s Debra Messing wears straightened hair and a “she reeks of Smirnoff, someone help me” expression.

Why Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow might want to cut out the push-ups, after the jump.

Trainer to the stars Tracy Anderson, whose celeb clients include Madge and Paltrow, crammed the girls into a dated and ill-fitting gown on the Smart Cookie red carpet.  Either she’s doing too many chest flies of late, or she actually thinks the melons-in-a-Snugli look is the new black.  Which: no.

It seems Gwyneth Paltrow actually enjoys the toddler years; the Shakespeare in Love actress is hoping to have another child with her husband, Coldplay front man Chris Martin.

Paltrow, 36, thought she’d completed her family of four when Moses, her son, was born in 2006.  But as the kids get older, Paltrow has apparently found herself wishing for another baby to look after.

She says, “At first, I thought, ‘OK, that’s it. I’m done. No way will I have more. Then my son turned two and you think, ‘Oh, I don’t want this to be the last two-year-old I have.’ Maybe I’ll do one more.”

Spoken like an ultra-rich movie star whose nannies have the bulk of the exposure to the two-year-olds in question.  She really wants to go through toilet-training and 18,502 daily repetitions of “MINE!” and “NO!” again?  Pass the spliff, girl.

It seems that Gwyneth Paltrow’s new Los Angeles home has an infestation, and not just one of children named Apple and Moses.

Gwyneth, seen above at the Valentino: The Last Emperor premiere at the beginning of April, is moving back to L.A. (or is she?) to begin filming Iron Man 2, and she has rented an apartment close to her actress mother, Blythe Danner.  However, a few days ago, her “advisers” called her to let her know that the place was infested with rats.

A friend of Paltrow’s said, “Gwyneth wanted everything to be perfect. She was so excited about moving to L.A. with the family and to be closer to her actress mum. It will be the first time in ages that she, Chris and the children will be living together as a family.

“But her stomach turned at the thought of rats running around. She didn’t want her homecoming ruined by those horrible creatures. Being an animal lover, Gwyneth didn’t want the vermin harmed, just removed.”

Oh, please.  If they’re such “horrible creatures,” why doesn’t she want them crushed?  Maybe she can just hurl some Goop at them.

Robert Downey Jr. took a break from filming on the Iron Man 2 set on Tuesday to smoke a cigar and…wear some platforms?  We bet it’s because he has a lot of scenes with Gwyneth Paltrow, who’s very tall; we just didn’t realize the height difference was that big.  (He claims he’s five foot ten, which is about Paltrow’s height anyway.)  Seriously, we haven’t seen a man in shoes that high since Saturday Night Fever.

That said, the look sort of suits him.  (Those sharp pinstripes don’t hurt either.)

WENN snappers caught movers hauling a bunch of furniture (that big chair is marked “sitting rm”) out of the London home of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin on Monday — but Paltrow has denied that she and Martin are making a permanent move to the States.

Paltrow, Martin, and their two children Apple and Moses currently split their year between homes in the  U.K. and the U.S. — but recent reports suggested the couple were planning to live full-time at their plush mansion in the Hamptons. The actress has spent more and more time in NYC recently, where her best friend Madonna is now based, and the rumors gathered steam Monday when moving men were spotted with securely sealed containers that seemed meant for overseas shipping…and were reluctant to reveal where the crates were headed.

But Paltrow’s spokesperson Stephen Huvane tells WENN, “They are not moving house — just removing and replacing some things.” Huvane adds that the  superstar couple will continue to live a transatlantic life: “Gwyneth has always lived in the U.S. half of year and the U.K. the other half. She will be working on Iron Man 2 for  the next three to four months in Los Angeles and then she usually spends her summer in New York.”

Paltrow is shown on the Iron Man 2 set in L.A. on Monday, presumably headed out to buy some shampoo made of unicorn breath and superiority.  Martin, not shown, is presumably expected to stay close to home to defend Coldplay against charges by iconic guitarist Joe Satriani that “Viva La Vida” is copied from him.