Newly-”wed”s Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt caused a stir among NBC execs over last weekend when they took the title of I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here literally — before their season of the show even started.

The couple arrived at the Costa Rican base camp for the jungle survival show and immediately decided they wanted out, forcing TV bosses to head to the set in an attempt to convince the pair to stay on the show, which debuted Monday night.

Reality-TV executive Paul Telegdy was among those who flew to Costa Rica to talk Speidi into staying, and he told American Idol host and radio presenter Ryan Seacrest that he first heard about a possible problem late on Saturday — and was told to “get down to the jungle” because “Heidi and Spencer have walked.”

Pratt’s expensive meal habits, after the jump.

Telegdy added, “They are back in, they’ve calmed down but all I can say is what’s unfolding here is some of the most extraordinary TV that I’ve ever witnessed in 20 year as a producer.

“I think Spencer thought he was about to arrive in some jungle-top Four Seasons, not a camp in the middle of the jungle… He does make much of the fact that he’s very pampered. He said to me, ‘I can’t do this; I eat five times a day and every one of those meals costs at least $40.’ I said, ‘Well Spencer, everybody else is doing fine on rice and beans.’

“He’s calmed down and he has slept and he has eaten but we had some tempers thrown yesterday. He can be quite a frightening young man… Heidi’s being a trouper. She had a truly devastating day… but she wolfed down a rat’s tail like she was quite used to having a small piece of cartilage put in her mouth.”

Do we need to comment on that last bit?  In fact, do we really need to comment on any of it?

[Update, 1:30 PM EDT: TMZ reports that Montag and Pratt have indeed quit the show.]

TMZ.com reports that Paris Hilton’s neighbors want her ousted because she makes too much noise.  A resident on the The Simple Life star’s Hollywood Hills street has reportedly offered their landlord money to evict the socialite — and Hilton hasn’t even lived there a month.

Hilton moved into the property earlier in May with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt (the happy couple, above, boarded a British Airways flight from L.A. to London on Friday), and they threw a party on Monday to celebrate their new digs.  Neighbors had different ideas about quiet hours, however, and called the cops to break  up the party after a number of luxury cars on the road were damaged.

A few days later, cops were summoned again when Hilton and Reinhardt allegedly made too much noise — doing what, we don’t care to speculate — and one neighbor has already gotten so fed up that he’s offered to pay Hilton’s landlord an extra $5,000 a month for the property, as long as Hilton and Reinhardt get evicted.

Not that we’d want to live near Hilton either, but has this neighbor considered going over there and just asking them to keep it down?

Since we are speechless, we will let the WENN news wire detail the latest in frivolous “celebrity” lawsuits:

Celebrity illusionist Criss Angel has been threatened with a lawsuit over the alleged theft of Las Vegas show producer Jeff Beacher’s cat.

Beacher, the man behind hit variety show Beacher’s Madhouse, is accusing the Mindfreak star of refusing to return his cat Hamlet after he offered to care for the animal in 2007.

More (…no, really) after the jump.

In a letter to Angel, [Beacher's] lawyer Robert Reynolds writes: “After both of Mr. Beacher’s parents passed away due to cancer, his family’s cat was bequeathed to him by will. At the time, Mr. Beacher was residing at the [Las Vegas] Hard Rock Hotel. Accordingly, he allowed his friend Jennifer Madden to temporarily care for the cat until he moved out of the hotel.

“Soon thereafter, while still grieving over the recent loss of his father, my client received a phone call from [Angel] stating, ‘I took your cat. He lives with me now’… This action was against the will of Ms. Madden and Mr. Beacher. I also understand that you made further bizarre allegations, including, ‘The cat no longer likes you’ and ‘The cat and I have become close friends.’

“…You and Mr. Beacher have repeatedly argued about the theft of his cat and your continued unwillingness to return it. Perhaps you are not aware of the legal consequences.”

According to the New York Daily News, Beacher will seek punitive damages if Hamlet is not returned.

Explaining the two-year delay in taking legal action against Angel, Beacher adds: “I was a mess. I’m better now and want my cat back.”

A spokesperson for Angel did not return requests for comment as WENN went to press.

Yeah, go figure.  The only remark we can summon is that we hope the cat is awarded by the court to a third party entirely — one who doesn’t name 1) himself things like “Criss Angel,” or 2) his pets after heroes of Shakespeare tragedies.

Reality “stars” Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are set to get married this weekend in fine style — Pratt has reportedly purchased a quarter-million dollars’ worth of Neil Lane jewelry for his bride to wear, according to In Touch — but rumor has it that,  like their Mexican nuptials, this walk down the aisle is all a put-on.

Sources mentioned in the same In Touch article that “It’s all set up by the producers of MTV to get people to watch. It’s just a plot line. They’re not really getting married.”

The ceremony will reportedly take place on a closed set with the entire Hills cast in attendance, which would tend to bolster the contention that it’s a TV stunt.  Regardless, Montag will wear a Monique Lhuillier gown; the site is the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Pasadena, but please don’t heckle.  It just gives them more attention, and with both newly-”weds” set to join the cast of the U.S. version of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here for the season airing this June, encouraging them further isn’t recommended.

Two of Hollywood’s poorest decision-makers — Sharon Stone with the nip-tastic Oscar-party dress the other night (link NSFW), Melanie Griffith with the smoking and the…everything else — do lunch at Joan’s On Third in L.A. on Wednesday.  It looks like the most annoying lunch ever…and one of the highest in plastic content.