If you think Denise Richards is a little crazy now, imagine what she was like as a teenager.

She must have been pretty wild, because her devious dad actually had her phone tapped.

Richards says, “He had this device. He could hear everything. Me and my sister would sneak out and lie to him and we couldn’t figure out how he knew everything.”

The actress is currently on a charm offensive, trying to undo some of the bad publicity she got from her super-messy split with Charlie Sheen.

But so far all she’s told us is that she’s had three boob jobs and she grew up in Cold War Berlin.

What’s next? We can’t wait.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers of The Tudors nicely posed for pictures with fans outside Chateau Marmont in L.A. on Saturday night.  Presumably this isn’t part of the compulsive Method prep Rhys Meyers undertakes for his role as Henry VIII on the Showtime program.

Rhys Meyers recently denied having gone to rehab and insisted that his wild-man reputation is greatly exaggerated — though he did admit to having visited a counselor.

King of Pop Michael Jackson, whose compulsion to shop should probably be reined in by one of his advisors given near-constant stories about Jacko’s impending financial ruin over the last few years, took kids Paris, Prince, and Blanket antiquing at Off  The Wall antiques in L.A. on Monday.  Jacko is at far right, with the surgical mask on — and the presence of swine flu at the top of the news hour the last few days means he’s probably smart to wear it this time instead of, you know, a weirdo.

No clue what’s going on with the masquerade-ball masks on the kids, since you can kind of still recognize them anyway, but we like the pairing of the masks with their Harry Potter-esque private-school uniforms.

Anyone seeking proof that long-term marijuana use may have deleterious effects, look no further than our favorite news-of-the-bizarre story hot off the WENN wire:

Woody Harrelson attacked a paparazzo at New York’s La Guardia airport on Tuesday — because he thought the snapper was a zombie!

No…seriously, after the jump.

The movie star was was caught on camera attacking the cameraman, who would not leave him and his daughter alone, and smashing up his equipment.

In video footage of the incident, posted on TMZ.com, the actor can be seen approaching the cameraman outside the airport and lashing out at him. But he insists he was confused after spending days shooting new film Zombieland.

In a statement released on Friday, Harrelson says, “I wrapped a movie called Zombieland, in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character.

“With my daughter at the airport, I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie.”

Police have taken a report from the cameraman, who claimed Harrelson pushed a camera into his face.

It’s not the first time Harrelson has had a run-in with a TMZ snapper — in 2006 he was accused of trying to choke cameraman Josh Levine and breaking his camera in Los Angeles. Levine sued Harrelson in Los Angeles Superior Court. Harrelson is seeking to have the case dismissed.

Um.  Okay?  Look, we’ve watched plenty of TMZ video, and those cameramen can sustain a pester like nobody’s business; that’s their job, but we don’t think anyone would blame Harrelson for losing his temper with it after a long flight.  It’s no excuse for getting physical, but everybody has a breaking point.  Still, why not just say that instead of issuing a statement involving the undead.  If he’s joking: not funny.  If he’s not joking: bonkers.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers took his preparation for TV series The Tudors to fanatical lengths, “becoming” Henry VIII while playing the English king…and staying in character for the entire five-and-a-half-month shoot.

The rationale?  Rhys Meyers looks nothing like the 16th-century monarch, so he chose to immerse himself in Henry day in and day out while filming the upcoming third season of the show.  The actor explains, “I never left the character for the whole 5 1/2 months I shot it.”

“What I do is isolate myself while I’m shooting it. I lived in a house on my own. It’s very Spartan, I don’t have luxuries. I go to the gym, all of this almost physical meditation. That’s what it takes, because I don’t look like Henry, so I have to do more to be Henry VIII.

“I don’t phone people up, don’t see people, don’t see my friends.”

There’s commitment to a role, and then there’s…requiring commitment of another sort, if you know what we mean.  Show execs are rumored to have banned booze from the Tudors set in an effort to help Rhys Meyers maintain his sobriety, as he’s ostensibly just off a month in rehab — but if he’s this intense about his prep, to the point where he’s not seeing anyone not involved with the show and doesn’t use modern appurtenances, perhaps the root causes aren’t being addressed.  Perhaps he’s a bit bonky, is what we’re saying.

…What?  You don’t see a little of the Manson lamps going on in this shot?